Can it be?

I'm in shock. Total shock. And maybe a little bit panicked.... I don't know what made me decide to take the test, but I have not been feeling well this week. And there you have it. I'm nursing AND on the pill, and my little one is only 5 months old. It took us one year of trying to finally conceive my younger dd. And, well, we definitely weren't trying for this one!

I thought I was done having children. My dh wanted another one and has been bugging me to let him try a third time to have a boy. So, after I took the test, I kinda tossed it to him where he was sitting on the couch, and told him that his dream came true! I guess God had other plans for me and our family. Now I hope God has blessed us with a boy!

I am so afraid of what this will do to my body. My last pregnancy was so rough on me.... so many complications and way too much trouble with asthma!!! Not to mention the fact that I have treated 2 patients in the past 2 weeks with active shingles... a big no-no while pregnant!!!

I have no idea how far along I am. I'll find out next week.

I need lots of hugs and prayers right now!!!!

I had a c-section with Anna, who was born in July. I will have to have another for this one, I'm sure, since there was no time really for my body to heal. I guess I will have to deliver at a different hospital so I can have a tubal ligation done at the same time. I think 3 is my limit on kids!!!! I love my kids, but I don't know if my body can handle this pregnancy!

Botox, anyone?

I had a procedure done today to fix my lazy eye, also known as strabismus. I have had it my whole life, and it has been a hugely embarrassing thing to deal with. I was teased as a child relentlessly for my crossed eyes. I have people now ask me if I am looking at them or someone else!!! I have developed strategies for hiding my condition, but at times I am too tired to control it.

The biggest issue for me is cosmetic, obviously, but there are also other problems. I can't see 3-D movies because my eyes don't work together well. (I see either the red or blue side of the glasses). I have very poor depth perception (which makes playing any game that involves a moving object REALLY tough!! PE class was a nighmare in elementary school!!!). And I have double vision in close range.

So, I sought the help of a specialist in town. He actually pioneered a technique to fix the muscle imbalance with Botox. They numbed my eyes, then injected the Botox toxin right into my eyeball. Let me tell you, it was strange watching the needle go into my eye!!!

There was some left over.... I asked Dr. McNeer if he could go ahead and take care of my wrikles, too!!!

I should start to see some changes in about 4-5 days, with the full effect taking about a month to complete. This whole procedure was so simple that I wish I had done it years ago!!!! It would have saved so much stress in my life!!

Oh, well...

The sad news is that I didn't make the Junkitz DT or get an HM. The good news is that I was in the top 34!!! Stacey Panassidi (http://www.junkitz.com/designers/blogger.cfm?UserName=spanassidi&View=Blogz) was so kind to post that list!!! I had no idea my name was on it until my friend Tabitha called!! So, I was pleased to get lots further than I ever anticipated!

Now I can start biting my nails about the QK DT.

I only try out for manufacturers whose products I truly love, and both Junkitz and QK are products I LOVE!!! So, we'll see...

I also tried out for the Scrapbook Answers DT. Since they are the only magazine that has pub'd my work so far, I figured it was worth a shot!! I love their magazine. They have such a wonderful, fresh approach to this industry. Their focus on design and technique is fabulous, and the fact that they rate new products is great!!!

So, I hope to accomplish another goal this year: to get on to a manufacturer's or magazine's DT!!!

In other news, I may have a new job. In my "real life," I am a physical therapist. I specialize in geriatric rehab. I love what I do. My career is hugely satisfying because I get to help people regain their functional independence every day. On a whim, I went to a job fair hosted by Sheltering Arms, a major rehab provider in Richmond. They have a beautiful, new rehab hospital in town, and are looking for therapists. I ended up interviewing for 2 hours! I went to school with one of the managers. I have been working in long term care for almost 3 years PRN (on call), but working about 20 hours a week. I have proposed a 25 hour work week to Sheltering Arms in a permanant part time postition. We'll see what happens.... they are supposed to get back to me this week!

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!!

We went to the Grand Illumination in Downtown Richmond last night. It was fun, as usual. This is our third year going. Kendall had a ball riding the carousel and looking at the model trains. I do have photos, of course, and will post some later....

And I pulled out my favorite Christmas CD yesterday morning... Handel's Messiah. I am one of those freaks that enjoys classical music! My parents are to blame for this love! I grew up with it, and it's what we sang in church choir. So if you see me on the road this Christmas season, and I'm rockin' out in my car, I'm most likely singing to my Messiah CD!!!