I went to see my OB on Friday, and, lo and behold, I am not pregnant. I was upset for a couple of days that I was pregnant so soon after having my last baby, but was getting used to the idea. It took me about a day to get over NOT being pregnant!!!
I am relieved now, but I was a little sad at first and VERY confused. How can you have a home test that is so positive, but have a negative office and blood test. It's a mystery to me! Unless I had a true false positive, which is extremely rare, the best explaination I could come up with based on internet research is that I had a "chemical pregnancy." You can conceive and produce HcG, but actually miscarry before any development actually happens. I was certainly feeling sick enough to be pregnant!!! (and that was prior to finding out that I was.)
So, life is back to normal.
The most upsetting thing to me about how our lives would change with having another baby so soon is that I would lose the chance to really bond with the middle child. She certainly deserves as much one on one attention as I can give her....... and I would have really missed that.